The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
