PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
