i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
