forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize