FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
