I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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