You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
