Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
