So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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