My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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