drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
