There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
