lets start a swedish sibling band together
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
