Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
