Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
