I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
