at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
