In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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