I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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