I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
