the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
