I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
