I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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