i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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