are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
