i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want her autograph on my taint
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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