highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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