It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
