Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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