My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
