That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
