I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
