the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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