White coat. Heels.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
