kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
