Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He passed out mid-signature
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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