The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize