She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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