yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
