Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
