Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
