My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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