I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
