The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
