I haven't been this sober since birth.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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