drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
