Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
