i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
