At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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