I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
