he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
