well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
