I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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