he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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