Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
