I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
