I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I believe in your delicious
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
