i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize