I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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